Boys, Boys, Boys

I’m not usually one to give a hoot about celebrity gossip, but this story caught my eye.

According to this post on A Socialite’s Life, tattoo artist extraordinaire Kat Von D hooked up with Nikki Sixx, the infamous bassist of her favorite band, Motley Crue.

This struck me as odd because on her TLC show "L.A. Ink," she’s still dating that Garth Algar looking motherfucker Alex Orbison, son of rock pioneer Roy Orbison and drummer of some shitty band.

Normally I don’t understand the square-dancey, partner-switching nightmare that is the Hollywood dating scene, but in this case, I get it.

Now, let my preface what I am about to write with a couple of disclaimers.

I am deeply committed to my girlfriend and I would never leave her for anyone, not even Rosario Dawson.

The following is a purely hypothetical scenario meant to parallel the dating adventures of Miss Katherine von Drachenberg, save for the obvious gender reversal.

Right, then. Here we go.

Let us suppose that I am Aloysius Stitches, D-list celebrity and star of my own very boring reality show, "Buffalo Blogger." I am currently dating Kelly Osbourne. She’s an okay girl, and we get along just fine (remember, this is hypothetical).

But the thing is, we don’t really have a whole lot in common, and she doesn’t have much personality or talent outside of being the inexplicably famous crotchspawn of a rock legend.

Plus, she’s kind of homely.

Now suppose that during this time I get the chance to knock boots with the Queen of Metal, Doro Pesch.

Doro is a rock legend in her own right. As the singer of the band Warlock, she was one of the few women to assert her dominance in the ‘80s metal scene, where females were usually groupies, strippers, hookers, or a combination thereof. She still makes pretty decent music today.

Plus, she’s still as smokin’ as she was in the ‘80s.

So, do I take that chance?

You bet your sweet leather-and-stud-covered ass I do.

I have no idea why Kat really broke up with "Orbi." I'm just saying that if this is why, I totally understand.

Of course, given Kat’s reputation as a serial monogamist and Nikki Sixx’s reputation as being Nikki Sixx, I don’t expect this relationship to last the month.

But for now, good on ya, Kat.

Photo courtesy of Kat Von D's Myspace page.